It has been a while and I am sorry for that. My writing does not serve as just a place for others to possibly find a common ground, but for me, myself to find some sort of grip on the flurry of thoughts that consume my conscious days.
Even now, as I open a new draft on my blog, I am reminded of the drafts that have yet to be completed since June. Maybe this one won't make it any further either.
To describe my state of mind in the last few months, the allusion of merry-go-rounds come to fruition. My point in the world is fixed and rotating at the same time. And the world is spinning at a different rate. Everything moves slow and fast at the same time. This makes trying to focus on anything bring on an overwhelming sense of nausea. Not to mention, the lights are bright and colorful and changing- causing storms to erupt in the back of my brain. The laughter and music and conversation around me becomes a muddled groan.
My instant reaction- Close your eyes. Shut them tight and hide your head.
It is more than being overwhelmed. It is edging on assault. Every time I am open to it, life hits a crescendo that causes me to recoil. Sick to my stomach. Then, I leave it unedited and unfinished. Now, I have these moments chronologically listed and highlighted with a label that reads 'DRAFT'. Otherwise, unidentified. Possibly to be continued.