One has to wonder if there is a difference between retreating and being a recluse.
Thinking about it has me going in circles sometimes.
Last night, I went to small singer/songwriter showcase in which two of the three acts were people I know and I really enjoy. Everyone knows every one in places like these. These situations are always difficult for me as there is no leaving a bit before everything is over so that you miss the crowd when your significant other is playing and you drove there together. Walking into the coffee shop was a mixture of a small scale high-school reunion and a gathering of old coworkers. The show was great and I got to have valuable time with people that I like being around. Still, afterwards, I felt like I had slammed eight Red Bulls after not sleeping for three days. Exhausted and trembling.
The ritual of calming down and getting my mind quiet again took the rest of my energy for the night and I fell asleep shortly after getting home. Today, my throat is sore. Napping and writing are pretty much all I am up for. Time out gives an opportunity to see things closely and experience others. But the actual act of doing it wears at me in a way that nothing else does. I don't want to think that the world is too much for me. I don't want to seem as if I am running away. Maybe I am farsighted. It is all just easier to take in from a distance.